We may all agree that legitimate sick days can’t be helped, but what about the more questionable absences? Apparently, some employees think being sick isn’t good enough excuse, so they get a little more creative.
Here for your amusement are, some of the funniest excuses people have used to call in sick that aren’t necessarily lies — but they’re certainly odd and sound suspicious.
- I used hair removal on my face and my face swelled up.
- An employee calls in and says she can no longer go to work for 7am. When asked why, she states she has headaches and that her doctor said she was getting up too early and not getting enough sleep. The employers asked what time she was getting to bed and the employee stated “1 am in the morning”.
- An employee shows up to work in a bottling company. After an hour of work the employee goes to the H.R. department and says “I cannot work here, I am allergic to water”
** Are humans not made up of 97% water???
- Employee called in to work first thing in the morning. “I cannot go to work today, I had my teeth ripped out and I burnt my hand on the stove.
Oh, how’s your hand.
- Employee calls into her work. “I cannot go to work today, my husband is sick, his hand really hurts”
How old is your husband???
- At 7am an employee calls his place of work and leaves this message “I cannot work today, I am on my way to the hospital to have surgery on my penis”.
Enlargement or shrinkage?
- Prospective employer calls an employee offering employment. “Hello April, we would like to offer you some work with our company, you would be starting today at 4pm. Employee: Great, I’m very excited and looking forward to it.
….10minutes after the phone call…. “Hi, this is April, I will not be able to start work.
Employer: “Oh why”
Employee: I phoned home and told my mother I had a job. She said, that’s great. But your younger brother is going to jail, so pack up all your stuff and head home”
- Employment agency calls up an individual to offer work. Employee states: “Some days I won’t feel like working, so if a job is not flexible, there’s no point.”
- I can’t go to work today; the garbage bag fell on my hand.
- I can’t go to work because I haven’t bathed for 9 days and I have to take a bath today.
Yes, please take a bath.
- Employee calls work to explain why she is not at work. “I couldn’t go to work because I have gonorrhea.”
- I can’t go to work today because I have Diarrhea.
- Employee calls the office stating, “I cannot go to work anymore.” Employer asks why not and the employees replies, “I just came from the doctor’s and it is determined that I am paranoid.”
